Monday, August 11, 2008

A Random Observation or Two Regarding John Edwards:
So, now that John Edwards has admitted he fucked around with Rielle Hunter, can we stop caring about poor people? 'Cause you can pretty much bet that the poverty tour Barack Obama promised he'd take in exchange for an Edwards endorsement is off. Even without the former Senator/VP nominee/P candidate along for the ride, any bus ride through Anal Rape, Arkansas or Crystal Meth, Montana or Shoot Snitches, Michigan would be mired in the stickiness of Edwards' semen.

Let's put aside for a moment the retarded, adolescent, Clintonesque narcissism of a man thinking he can run for President in this post-Clinton day and age and think that he can get away with an affair like Bill Clinton. Let's put aside the whole "is it his child or not" discussion. Let's put aside John McCain's extramarital fucking. Let's put aside Edwards' utter betrayal of all of his supporters by daring to attempt to become the nominee while this was still a secret (if the Rude Pundit had donated money to him, he'd be really fuckin' pissed).

In fact, let's put aside the sickening thought of "What if he had been nominated?" It wasn't gonna happen. Think about it: how many of the Democratic elders came out in support of Edwards this time around? Yeah, he got a bunch of endorsements, but any of the bigwigs? He was the vice-presidential nominee back in 2004, an obvious and safe choice for many. The extramarital fucking happened in 2006 (as far as we know so far). You don't think that Edwards was vetted to the nth degree? You think this was a secret to the party's leadership? Even when he was polling second to Clinton, there were precious few in the party willing to come out and endorse him. And once Obama became the story, there was little reason to bother.

But let's get a few things back on track here: John Edwards fucked the woman, not Barack Obama. The Sunday chat-o-causts were filled with people wondering how in the world John Edwards' nailing of Hunter would affect Obama's campaign. Over on Fox "news" Sunday, Chris Wallace, asking Illinois Senator Dick Durbin about if Edwards' coming in the orifice of a woman not his wife hurts Democrats, said, "The reason I ask is the revelation late in the 2006 campaign that Congressman — Republican Congressman Mark Foley had had relationships, involvement, with congressional pages seemed to be very damaging to the GOP in that election. What's the difference?" That's not the difference between apples and oranges. That's the difference between apples and sexual predators. Durbin should have just stared, appalled, like Wallace had just shat into his own hands and eaten it. The right is looking for another Reverend Wright to associate Obama with, and Edwards will serve for them until something better comes along.

So, yeah, John Edwards boned a nutsy New Age chick who probably fucked all tantric and shit and didn't call him on his self-loving bullshit the way Elizabeth does. (And, by the way, the great loss for the party this year is in silencing Elizabeth Edwards, who kicks multifarious ass in ways great and small.) However unjustly Edwards may have treated his wife, his causes are just.

In other words, who John Edwards fucks won't get anyone job training, education, food, or health care.