Reagan's Corpse:

Oh, what fun it is to play with Reagan's corpse, play with Reagan's corpse. What joy to hook his limbs up to wires and jolt them with electricity as they stiffen, vibrate, and flop around. How gleeful can we be when tie strings on him and make him goose step around for us. Condoleeza Rice loves to play with Reagan's corpse, putting it on her lap so she can be its ventriloquist, her hand deep up Reagan's embalmed ass, manipulating his mouth, and she gets Reagan's corpse to say that her Georgie-Pie is so much like Reagan: "President Bush is inspired by [Reagan's] kind of plainspokenness, about that willingness to tell the truth, about the willingness to be unabashedly clear about the universality of the values of liberty and freedom."



The campaign of George W. Bush is angling to get Reagan's corpse mummified and placed on permanent display in the Capitol so everyone can push a button and make Reagan dance a little Irish jig. Hell, they'll even put glass eyes in that give an extra twinkle in the flash of cameras. Says Bush campaign manager Ken Mehlman, "Just like President Reagan, President George W. Bush speaks with moral clarity about the enemies of freedom. Both men had the wisdom to recognize that peace comes from strength." And, then, disturbingly, Mehlman refers to Reagan (and Bush II) in the present tense, "Both are optimists, who believe that the best days are tomorrow if we make the right decisions today." Ah, yes, Reagan's corpse believes so many things that are good and right about America.



And, oh, oh, how many right wing pundits and "thinkers" can't get enough of Reagan's corpse, demanding that Reagan's dead dick be made permanently erect so they can go fuck themselves with Reagan's corpse. The National Review's Rich Lowry wants to rip off Reagan's arms to beat the shit out of John Kerry, saying "It is no accident that Kerry opposed Reagan's policies in terms he uses to criticize Bush now." He's joined by the Weekly Standard, which wants to use Reagan's legs to kick Kerry's ass. Rush Limbaugh wants Reagan's balls on a lollipop stick that he can lick over and over; Limbaugh sees no difference in the "fight" against "communism" and the "fight" against "terrorism." Sean Hannity wants Reagan's head in his lap so he can pretend the 40th President is blowing him; scroll down to the bottom of his homepage to see Reagan's corpse in action. Laura Ingraham wants just a couple of fingers she can use as a Reagan dildo as she imagines what the Gipper would have done in all manner of crises, like 9/11 (although one imagines Reagan's reaction to 9/11 wouldn't have been much different had he been President - shitting himself and gurgling for pudding).



Man, oh, man, we can't get enough of Reagan's corpse, whole and in pieces. We are a nation that lives in the shadow of Reagan's corpse.