To Understand The World
by Lori Garrott

My leap into the field of activism was mostly sparked by the fight against Initiative 26 in Mississippi—The Personhood Initiative.  We won that fight in 2011 and I can’t thank the sponsors of that Amendment more for what they created in Mississippi. We surprised the entire country with that win. Even further, I think we shocked the shit out of ourselves.

THIS is the "rest of the story"--the life that exists for us outside the mainstream media cycle.  The story of Mississippi women who continue to stand up and fight what we've been told is a losing battle.

There was no definable organization of women in the State of Mississippi when Initiative 26 was put up for a vote. Honestly, Personhood would have passed without a peep in Mississippi until one woman, Cristen Hemmins engaged in a lawsuit against the bill represented by the MS ACLU.  The case eventually ended up in front of the MS Supreme Court. There was no national organization in the state, no real education to the population. I just heard about “Personhood” and the case was “before the MS Supreme Court”.  Then I ate a bunch of cake and passed out from sugar intake—like a Good Little American.  

Mainly because I suffer from a case of Good Sense (the kind my Mama gave me) and as a social worker in this state for 15 years-one with the highest teen pregnancy rate-I actually believed that state legislatures would see what a REALLY bad idea looked like—hint, it looks like Personhood (also those Truck NUTZ things, but they've yet to legislate them. Or any nuts for that matter)

 The MS Supreme Court eventually decided they could not vote on the constitutionality of a law that had yet to be enacted. So, Initiative 26 was allowed on the ballot. Something that baffled many of us as the Mississippi State Constitution states that we cannot alter the Mississippi Bill of Rights by ballot initiative.  But that’s Mississippi! In fact, I find that par for the course in Republican politics for the past five years. If we don’t like the rules, we’ll just change them. Right down to your feminine hygiene products.

Sitting at my desk one day in September of 2011, I saw this sentence come across my Twitter timeline: "Mississippi Supreme Court states Personhood can remain on the ballot." Then there were two minutes I think we all paused and asked, "Well fuuuuuck, what do we do now?" We needed someone to say something about this. We needed someone to be listening.

Turns out there was someone listening—The Mamas. I talked to some other friends of mine—all Mamas like me. We related what this amendment would personally mean for us if it had been applied when we were trying to create our families. There were stories of women being cut open to remove loved potential children from tubes, women who experienced their children dying inside of them knowing they would carry the heartbreak—if not the baby—for the rest of their lives. Remembering that push to deliver our children into the world as being so life giving, each of us understood how close to the precipice of taking life that same push could be.

So The Mamas went to work. Some of us formed political action committees, some of us made signs, and some of us learned how to get our faces in front of cameras. We knocked on doors, handed out flyers and held rallies.  Mamas, who had previously done nothing political, and with no aspirations for such, stood on street corners holding signs. We did it with 6-week-old babies and strollers and toddlers that tore up the flowers in front of the women's monument on the South Capitol Lawn—fitting, I think. We met other Mamas—Atlee,Stacey, Cristen, Jill, Laurie and Amy—who were holding signs of their own. Some had in-vitro babies, some had lost babies and some prayed for babies. Some of them had heaven babies or earth babies who were already grown and trying to have their own babies. Some of them had two generations of babies behind them and wanted those babies to give them more babies. But one thing united all of us. We couldn't let this happen.

We Mamas started using all the skills we'd learned juggling car pool and practices and cooking and our numerous undergrad and graduate degrees, and we applied them to social organization. We used minivans to lug protesters. We packed food and babies in wagons and showed up at rallies with goldfish crackers and bottles of refrigerated breast milk and neatly painted signs. Instead of posting pictures of our kids on social media, we posted articles and legal arguments. And by damn, with the entire "NO to 26" movement seeming to happen as organically as the brownies or soccer or Halloween costumes that Mamas seem to make look so easy, we did win.

And after we did? We stayed in touch. We did this through social media (an invaluable tool in this fight).  And we paid attention.

This led to a year later and a huge fight against a TRAP law that imposed an impossible regulation against our one standing abortion clinic:  admitting privileges.  This same law is currently being used in other states in an attempt to close their clinics.  And really, I can’t say that it isn't slick. Most people don’t know that the majority of doctors working in hospitals don’t have "admitting privileges."  The law is solely designed to close down a safe abortion clinic under the guise of “protecting women”.  And without the judiciary system to apply checks and balances, it’s extremely successful. This law led to a rally at the Last Abortion Clinic on the 40^th Anniversary of Roe.  

    Me and Cristen Hemmins at Roe Rally

Sadly, it was like a reunion for most of us women who’d led the fight against Personhood.  But we still treat a protest like a good old fashion Southern Git Together.  There was visiting and talking about everyone’s chirren—interspersed with giving interviews to international news channels or documentary crews completely fascinated with America’s continued puritanical fight against abortion—and our accents, I’m sure. (And let me tell you something that French Women and Mississippians share, a LOVE for smoking. I couldn't understand that woman for shit but she had the best cigarettes.)  After two years, we are so well-versed in talking points and messaging that I’m pretty sure most of “The Mama’s” could kick your ass in an interview. Currently, our record is much better than Rick Perry's.

Through it all, we kept in touch on social media.  We formed groups.  We listed messaging and tips to deal with media.  We made sure that every woman who joined the fight was provided with the needed tools.  And we are still offering this information and advice. When the coordinated attacks on women’s rights started during the 2012 legislative session in most Republican controlled states, we were able to dole out some invaluable advice regarding organizing previously unorganized women.  We still have that as one of our goals.  And yes, it still shocks the shit out of most other states that we seem to know what we are doing.

And so here we are, two full years later, still fighting and engaged in what I've renamed the “Great American Stand Off”—praying for judicial escape from an ill-informed and stupid law. Currently, we stand our ground here—the clinic grounds—under the safety of an injunction. But who knows for how long.

A lot of us women translated these laws and attacks into concrete resistance actions and Laurie Roberts started a volunteer clinic defense program which is a coalition effort with Occupy Mississippi.  She eventually became the President of the MS chapter of NOW and we use this as a collection point for Reproductive Justice Funds.  These funds are used 100% to fund abortion and reproductive health care services to women who cannot afford them.

We walk women into our Last Clinic every day.  We hold their hands and make sure they aren't harassed by protesters as we are continually harassed by legislatures. We no longer activate “phone trees” for our kid’s preschools, we do it for legislation--I've timed it.  I can text a friend a piece of information from the Last Clinic’s front door at 7:30am and have it picked up by national media within 48 hours. And one invaluable piece of information I can give you is this: BUILD THOSE NETWORKS.  Those networks are precious to you.  They will be what you stand on when the men have taken even the soap box.  Build social media groups.  Stay in them even outside of active legislative sessions.  Be active.  But, most of all--wake up.  And STAY AWAKE.

Just as sure that we are protecting the women we hold everyday when we walk them into the clinic, we also know we are protecting a fundamental constitutional right—and that requires vigilance. We stand our ground here every day and say, “This clinic will not close”.  We do it because of the calls we get from frantic women asking where they can get an abortion and how they can pay for it.  We stand our ground here because we are on the front lines of the battle and for decades this war has only ever been won by women who drew a line in the sand and said, “You will go no further.”

Our line is drawn around Jackson Women’s Health Organization.  And our signs say, “This clinic stays open.”  And we fight for that, every day. 

Now, that's not to say we don't try to make our days at The Last Clinic as fun as possible.

Sometimes we even hang out and make duck lips with Cynthia McFadden while she's interviewing "Anti's".

Sometimes we get to tell the "Anti's" they are pieces of shit (please note the person he referred to as "fat" in the video was a 17-year-old volunteer escort. Really classy, Roy. Roy McMillan is a standing feature at the clinic. This happens every single day.)


Sometimes we are attacked because of bumper stickers on someone else's car:

(As a side note, he's very worried that our camera isn't recording as well)

And sometimes we just have fun.

If you'd like to follow us as we continue to fight for our last standing clinic, you can read about happenings and see videos and commentary at The Last Abortion Clinic You can also follow our Youtube Channel. If you'd like to donate to our reproductive justice fund, please contact us through our "About Us" page on our blog!

On North Carolina's Moral Mondays, Motorcycle Vaginas, and How a Red State Goes Decidedly Bl

On North Carolina's Moral Mondays, Motorcycle Vaginas, and How a Red State Goes Decidedly Blue

As much as North Carolina’s Governor Pat McCrory wanted to rebrand the state, I assume he didn’t mean to have us known as the state of the #Motorcyclevagina.  This fascinating hashtag was born of a bill that was originally written to improve motorcycle safety -- but with added legislation in the eleventh hour that would effectively close all but one Planned Parenthood in the state. 

Maybe you’ve heard of it.

I have lived in North Carolina for most of my life, and have been attending Moral Monday protest rallies since June 3.  Reverend William Barber, the President of the North Carolina NAACP, is the man behind this movement. The first time I saw him speak, he was in front of a group of about seventeen people gathered who had agreed to go with him to Raleigh to practice civil disobedience that first Monday, April 29, 2013.  Regarding an onslaught of ALEC-sponsored legislation, like cuts in funding that would affect the poorest and most vulnerable in the state, legislation to do away with early and Saturday voting as well as requiring voter ID cards (which ultimately affect minority voting rights in this state above all others), and the imminent repeal of the Racial Justice Act, he said "I never thought I would have to fight for the things my parents already won.”

I will tell you that I was changed after hearing that speech.  I knew I had to get involved, to make my way to Raleigh as often as possible to support this cause.

Fighting for what was already won. 

And now suddenly the women of North Carolina are fighting once again for the right to maintain our individual reproductive freedom.  SB353, the now infamous legislation also known as The Motorcycle Vagina Bill will effectively close all but one Planned Parenthood in the state.  Governor McCrory -- who, while campaigning for the job he’s holding now, promised to do nothing to infringe upon a woman’s right to choose – has already said he will sign it into law.

I daresay that no one wants to have an abortion.  Should a woman have to make that painful and personal choice, the decisions surrounding that choice are hers alone to make in consultation with her physician.  They are no one else's business.  Not mine, not yours, and certainly not of a handful of politicians over in Raleigh.

For while they are very concerned with legislating whether or not a woman has the baby, it has become very clear that once the child is born, the Republican party is not interested in any legislation to enhance the child's quality of life.  The GOP has made cuts in food assistance, early childhood education, public education (don’t even get me started), and limited Medicaid expansion and healthcare.  

Separate and apart from abortion, Planned Parenthood offers a myriad of health services to women across the state, and closing them is harmful to a woman's health, not protective and the Republican party as the bill proclaims. 

"I voted for SB353 because I truly felt that it would help to protect the safety of women who choose to have an abortion. If abortion is legal (which it is), then I believe we should try to make it as safe as possible. Due to the fact that abortion is a serious (and sometimes dangerous) medical procedure, I believe it is sensible to require abortion clinics to adhere to certain operational standards (similar to those of ambulatory clinics). Also, because abortion often involves surgery with significant medical risks, I believe it is prudent to require a doctor to be present during the procedure. Instituting these requirements is simply a way to help keep women safe during abortion procedures, and I think that is a worthy cause."  -- Representative Jon Hardister 

Here are some facts that render this argument without merit.  

"Abortion is one of the safest surgical procedures for women in the United States. Fewer than 0.5% of women obtaining abortions experience a complication, and the risk of death associated with abortion is about one-tenth that associated with childbirth."  

And the state's abortion rate is lower than the national rate --- both of which are already on the decline.

Lots of really good information at the source.  

The women of this state are not taking any of this lying down.  E-mails and social media have alerted and rallied women across the state.  Thousands of women AND men braved sweltering heat for last week’s tenth wave of Moral Monday, the theme of which was Women's Issues.  It was a record crowd for Moral Monday.  

After seeing the size of the turnout, I mused to a friend (only half-jokingly) that if the Republicans in Raleigh could repeal a woman's right to vote, they probably would.  Her response was completely serious:  that with the swiftly-moving proposed legislation to end early and Saturday voting, limiting the vote is exactlywhat they are trying to do.

I am often asked why I go – why, when nothing seems to be changing, when the state’s Republicans dismiss us and call us names at every turn, and keep right on pushing their immoral agenda through. 

The simple answer is, it is the right thing to do.  I’m in this for the long haul. 

It’s not always easy to get there.  The weather can be brutal.  Conflicts and schedules don’t always cooperate.  But I make it every week that I can.  One thing that always strikes me is that there is no racism on Halifax Mall.  There is no sexism, no misogyny, and no homophobia either.  There is only compassion and respect and love for everyone.  This is the right side to be on. 

The next steps for me are to get involved volunteering to help register voters, and drive them to the polls on Election Day.

Governor McCrory continues to brush off Moral Mondays, while his approval rating has dropped 15 points in a single month.  The entire party is starting to feel it, too:  "Unhappiness over the abortion bill seems to be driving a lot of the increased unhappiness with the Republicans in state government this month. Only 34% of voters support the proposal to 47% who are opposed. They're even more unhappy with the process- 80% think it's inappropriate to combine abortion legislation with bills about motorcycle safety or Sharia Law."

On Wednesday, Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington released their report that put McCrory on the list of the country’s worst governors.

So thank you, Pat McCrory, Thom Tillis, and all of the Republicans down in Raleigh who proudly declare they are not listening.   The rest of the state, and the country, can hear us just fine.   And you have galvanized the citizens of this state in a way we haven't been in a long time.  

Thank you for this movement that brings us together for the greater good.  

Thank you for reminding us that we have to keep fighting for our rights, for what we want and want to hold on to, and be tireless in working to keep it.  For reminding us that there are those who will always want to take it away again.

We will see you at the polls.

Melissa Hassard is a writer currently living in Greensboro, NC.  Visit her website or e-mail her at melissa@melissahassard.com.

Government On My Mind:
My husband and I, even when grieving, have a dark sense of humor. You know those adhesive stick-figure characters people put on their cars to depict their families -- Dad, Mom,, two boys, a girl, a dog and a cat? We thought ours could represent our miscarried pregnancies. Dad, Mom, baby (X-ed out), baby (X-ed out), baby (X-ed out) and a teratoma, a non-living wad of hair and teeth. “We have high hopes for our little teratoma,” we imagined telling horrified friends. “If it applies itself, it can make the dean’s list.”

Our jokes were morbid to cover for our raw grief, and our utter surprise we had wound up in this situation, a backwater of our own lives. The first pregnancy was full of joy, we had no reason to think anything would go wrong. But at about 12 weeks, I began to bleed. We looked at the ultrasound in silence as the doctor pointed out that the fetus was far too small for its age. My husband ventured hopefully that since we were both small people, perhaps our fetus was merely small too. His hope made my heart ache. The doctor kindly said no, it doesn’t work that way. The heartbeat was far too slow as well. I was blind with sadness and disappointment. My doctor arranged for a dilation and curettage promptly. In the hospital, one of the papers I was given to sign said this was a “medical abortion.” I hesitated, I hadn’t thought of it that way. I signed it. It was a small but essential relief to put the physical miscarriage process behind me. My body had been slow to begin and progress the miscarriage, and it would have taken weeks of physical and emotional pain. The second time we got pregnant, we were more circumspect, and this one ended the same way as the first; a weak but non viable heartbeat, a fetus that wasn’t growing. The third pregnancy was a potentially deadly ectopic, probably caused by the teratoma. I took powerful drugs to end the ectopic pregnancy, then the teratoma, which turned out to be a stubborn little bugger, was removed, along with one of my fallopian tubes.

I never considered these sad events would be of interest to Ohio lawmakers, though if they’d like to see pictures of my little ball o’ hair n’ teeth, I’m happy to oblige. I discovered that it is possible to be a “little bit pregnant,” I had been, three times. What do you say about a fetus that is far too small, whose heartbeat is a third of what it should be? It exists, but soon it will not, like the flame of a flickering candle. When I hear proposals, such as the Heartbeat Bill, I think  the sponsoring lawmakers are blissfully unfamiliar with, or don’t care about, these gray areas that don’t fit easily into laws or emotions.

 Doctors are now required to explain the woman’s chances of delivering a healthy baby from this pregnancy, as well as the general probability of a fetus of this age surviving to term. Had my doctor been forced to state these stark terms to me -- that my pregnancy was dying, of which I was all too aware, and other people’s pregnancies are successful, of which I was quite aware as well, the evidence was all over Facebook -- I cannot imagine the depths of my anger and despair. I already felt my body had let me down. This legislation implies I was correct in that feeling. Perhaps with a statistics lesson, my insubordinate lady parts could be shamed into shaping up and carrying a pregnancy properly. I doubt my doctors would want their speech to be mandated. They obviously didn’t feel it was appropriate or medically necessary to make such statements to me as they, the ones with medical training, decided not to do so.

As for the teratoma, doctors say they don’t have the potential to develop into human beings, but what do they know? Perhaps I should have been forced to keep it as well, just in case.

We took time off from trying for a baby. Five years after the last miscarriage,  I got pregnant. I was in a wild panic, afraid this one would end the way the others had. I defensively didn’t bond  with the pregnancy, holding it at arm’s length, like a dusty suitcase. At 9 weeks, I had heavy bleeding and wasn’t surprised. But when we looked at the ultrasound, there was a figure, wriggling about. She’s still wriggling, upstairs in her bed right now. She should be asleep, but she’s discovered her hands, and they’re very distracting. Now Ohio’s legislation has extra weight; for myself, and for my daughter. If she chooses to have children, I hope she never goes through what I did. But if she does, I want her to have the same compassionate care I did, and the ability to make decisions with her doctor and, if she chooses, her partner. I don’t want her to be shamed for having a miscarriage, or for making the best medical decisions for herself and her life.

I’ve been pro-choice all my life, but after being forced into the gray area of non-viable and dangerous pregnancies, I am more firm in my beliefs. I’ve been a little bit pregnant, and it is a very lonely place to be, even in the best of circumstances. Ohio has no business making medical decisions for me or my daughter.

FEMALE, FIFTY AND FURIOUS

I am a middle-aged woman (married and a mother) living in Ohio; and I'm pretty pissed off.  Actually, I'm furious.  Nothing like a stressed-out, perio-menopausal woman with a natural temper who admits to being furious.  I probably ought to get my husband one of those flash-over tents that forest firefighters use.  So, most of you probably have a general idea about why I'm so hot under the collar with all the news Ohio has been making in regard to restricting women's reproductive rights.  And, yes, that's the general reason.  But it's also just the tip of the iceberg. 

The message I personally take away from the Ohio Legislature and Gov. John Kasich is that I, a mature woman, business owner and professional, a college-educated woman, am not capable of making decisions with a medical professional about my body without the "assistance" of the State.  I'm not sure which I find more offensive; that I am not smart enough to know what is best for me and my family, or that a bunch of politcians think they are more qualified than my doctor.  And, yeah, I realize at my age, it's unlikely, but technically it's still possible that I would be in such a position. 
Which brings up a whole other mess.  But, thinking about all that gets me just angry.

What gets me furious is the elimination of easy, affordable access to general gynecological health care for thousands of women.  Yep, that's what defunding Planned Parenthood will do.  Existing non-PP affiliated clinics have stated that they do not have the capacity to take on all the women who will be left without women's healthcare, and Planned Parenthood is the only one with sliding scale fees.  One reason that really pisses me off is that I just lost a friend to breast cancer.  Without Planned Parenthood, thousands of women may not be able to get regular, affordable mammograms.  Some will die.  Mothers, wives, sisters, daughters will die a painful death.  Women may not be able to get tested for cervical cancer; some will die.  They may not get tested for STD's which will spread.  Maybe to you, your spouse, your child, your parents. Planned Parenthood is the only affordable and accessible women's healthcare for   That kind of shit makes me furious.  And if a 40 year old mother dying of breast cancer or a 60 year old woman with syphillis doesn't make you furious, you're an idiot.
Deunding Planned Parenthood will not stop people from having sex and it will not stop abortion.  What it will do is kill women. 

I could easily go on and on, but this is a blog post, not a book.  Women's reproductive rights are critical to the physical and financial health and well-being of women, babies and their families.  Restricting access to affordable, quality women's care is going to hurt everyone.  Best case, more families and women will be forced into poverty.  Worst case, it's going to be a bloodbath. 
: IF YOU DON'T FUCKING SPEAK UP, YOU WON'T FUCKING BE HEARD!  STAND
WITH OHIO, TEXAS, WISCONSIN, NORTH CAROLINA .....  oh, hell ..... AMERICAN WOMEN!   - Female, Fifty and Furious

Governor Perry, I learned from my ownexample

I recently escaped to Colorado, after living in Oklahoma for 39 years.  Though similar abortion legislation has recently been passed, or simply declared (looking at you, Ohio), in multiple states, I primarily reference Oklahoma and Texas below (and a little Arizona because, well, that state tends to scream for attention). You can find my other musings at my blog, Bible Belt to Boulder.  Thanks to His Supreme Rudeness for sharing his space this week. 

I’ve spent the past month completely pre-occupied with events in Texas, Ohio, and North Carolina. A pre-occupation that has interfered with my work and time with my family. It’s always this way for me when abortion issues take center stage, though not for reasons people might suspect. I’ve never had an abortion. Technically, I don’t have “personal” experience with it. Yet, my existence is intrinsically connected to this issue.

My mom was 15-years-old when she became pregnant. I was born in October 1972, nine days after Roe v. Wade was re-argued before the Supreme Court. I was three months and two days old when the opinion was issued. If my conception had occurred one year later, I might not be here.

I am also passionately pro-choice. 

My opinion on this matter isn’t a form of masochism, nor the result of a bad childhood. In fact, my mom and I are extremely close. But I have spent the past month, indeed years, listening to politicians explain how much they value life and about protecting “those little babies.” I was one of those babies. Unlike those of politicians, my opinion is born of actual experience and a perspective that casts a glaring light of hypocrisy on the pro-lifers passing these laws. I get to take their words and reasoning personally because I am exactly who they deign to be protecting through their exploitive legislation. Frankly, their hypocrisy and willful ignorance has grown infuriating. 

In 1972, when my mom was a teenager, women didn’t have any choices in pregnancy, nor did they have a lot of other things. Schools didn’t teach comprehensive sex education, meaning they never covered topics such as contraception, consent, risks. Young and poor women didn’t have access to clinics where they could obtain affordable reproductive health care, nor did they have access to birth control. No knowledge, no care, no protection, no choice. And in October of that year, while the Supreme Court pondered Roe v. Wade, my mom became a mother. 

When I compare today’s world with that one, I am terrified by the similarities emerging. Oklahoma and Texas schools are not required to provide sex education. If a school does, it is required to teach an “abstinence-only” curriculum. Information regarding STDs or contraception is completely (and absurdly) optional. 

Moreover, Texas’ recent legislation will likely close all but 5 clinics. In a state that is over 700 miles wide, where 42 clinics currently provide care to literally millions of young and low-income women, this will inevitably mean many women won’t have access to reproductive health care, cancer screenings, birth control or safe abortions.

No knowledge, no care, no protection and no choice. Sound familiar? Think about that while also considering Texas currently has one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the country. Oklahoma comes in fourth. It’s as if these states want unintended pregnancies because they certainly work to create the perfect storm.

Still, it’s the differences between the pre-Roe v. Wade world and today that are the most terrifying. Looking back to my early childhood, it is blatantly clear to me now that we were skirting the poverty line. I was one of the lucky ones, never actually going without food or clothing, but I was distinctly aware we were poor. Fortunately, my mother eventually took advantage of every program available to her to drag us out of poverty. After years of dead end jobs that barely paid the bills, she went to college while I was in elementary school. She received Pell Grants to help pay for tuition and took out a reasonable amount of student loans. I recall her using both welfare programs and food stamps at least part of that time to help with housing and food. We were still ridiculously poor, but we had a future.

In the end, the government more than profited from its investment in my mom. She has been an economically productive, tax-paying professional for over thirty years. I grew up healthy and went on to college and then law school. Officials talk about needing to cut off the circular nature of government dependence, but they rarely discuss the circular nature of independence government investment can foster.

Today, the programs she used have been slashed by the same legislatures that proclaim themselves pro-life. Pell grants, 74% of which are awarded to families making $23,000 or less, cover less than 1/3 of tuition costs. The welfare and food stamp programs are exceedingly limited in both time restrictions and benefit cuts. They emphasize immediate employment in low-wage jobs with no future. These programs no longer lend themselves to long-term changes through higher education but instead to a cycle of poverty to pass on through generations. It is possible for a mom to do what mine did, but highly unlikely.

Further, there is a telling correlation between those voting pro-life and those cutting any care we might receive once we’re actually breathing. I was a healthy kid but like most, I didn’t make it all the way to adulthood unscathed. In second grade, I broke both bones in one arm completely in half (an over-achiever, I know). I wore a cast that covered ¾ of my arm from May through August. At the time, this seemed a tragedy because I wasn’t permitted to swim. Now though, I cringe at what that must have cost. A trip to the emergency room, overnight hospital stay, multiple cast changes and ex-rays equate to substantial bills even for a professional carrying decent insurance. My mom was a poor college student. She has since told me a government program paid a portion and she made monthly payments on the remaining. How would that play out today? Not well in Texas or Oklahoma.

Both states tout women’s health and protection of babies as their noble reasons for passing these laws. Yet, in spite of hospital and medical associations pleading with them to do otherwise, Governors Perry and Fallin refused Medicaid expansion. In Texas, expansion would have provided $100 billion to pay for health care for the poor, including children. This in a State that had already cut $700 million from state Medicaid funding in its previous budget. Texas currently has the highest percentage of uninsured adults in the nation with 28.8%. Keep in mind, Texas is a monstrosity – 28.8% is 4.78 million people, higher than the entire population in many states.

In 2007, Rep. Jodi Laubenberg, sponsor of the Texas bill and rape-kit intellectual extraordinaire, proposed an amendment to the Children’s Health Insurance Program (“CHIP”), which helps cover uninsured children in low-income families, to require mothers to wait three months before they could begin receiving prenatal and perinatal care. When this was challenged, Laubenberg explained her reasoning as, "But they're not born yet." Two years later, when Texas had 1.1 million uninsured children, Laubenberg voted no on a bill that would increase the number of children eligible for CHIP. Pro-life? Really?

Nothing illustrates the inconsistency of the pro-life platform better than the 20-week ban. Abortions after 20 weeks are rare and are almost always related to developmental defects of the fetus, something parents don’t generally become aware of until the standard 20 week ultrasound. In Texas, babies with birth defects that I can’t even wrap my mind around will be born into a pro-life state that has gutted children’s health insurance programs and refused federal funds for the same.

Arizona passed similar legislation, though it was struck down following a legal challenge. During appellate court arguments, one of the judges, a Bush appointee, expressed concern about forbidding parents the opportunity to make any decisions after becoming aware their baby might develop “horrible birth defects.” Arizona’s solicitor general candidly responded, “With due respect, that’s the woman’s problem.”

Though by now I shouldn’t be surprised, I admit, I was stunned by his answer. It’s not at all clear to me that anyone in that situation is receiving “due respect,” certainly not the child these laws purportedly protect. The Arizona law provided for criminal prosecution of any doctor who performed an abortion after the cut-off. I think about my life, the assistance my mother received when I had something as elementary as two broken bones. The idea there would be nothing to assist the mother or the child born with birth defects after the government forced that birth to occur makes me question who the real criminals are in that situation.

Pro-life advocates are rabid in their supposed desire to protect the unborn. They are not so moved to protect the welfare of a living child, especially if it might cost the government money. I cannot reconcile these positions and I have yet to gain any answers to this paradox from those that so violently advocate for life. If those social and medical programs do not offer anything else, they offer hope and opportunity. Ironically, they offer life to the next generation of statistics like me.

All I can ever think about while the pro-life advocates are yelling about protecting the unborn is, “You’re not there once we’ve arrived!” It is a choice that should be made by those who will actually be present. In the meantime, pro-lifers could spend their energy on programs that actually prevent unintended pregnancies, but no. Instead, they remain perversely obsessed with forced births.

If abortion had been a legal option, my mom might have taken it. And if I had been her friend sitting beside her, as I was later to a friend in college, I would have supported her and truthfully answered, “I’d probably do the same thing in your situation.” People desperately want this to be a black and white issue but it just isn’t and never will be. The only clear thing is this – as one of the protected unborn, I know officials cannot legitimately tout themselves as pro-life and opine about protecting the most vulnerable, while simultaneously cutting every program that gives us any hope in life. It fills me with rage when I watch them force us to be born and then abandon us as soon as we take a breath. Protecting life has to involve more than just requiring existence because my life didn’t end simply because I was born.

            

Remembering Dr. Tiller:

When I met Dr. Tiller 17 years ago I was 19 years old and married with 2 small children. I had recently discovered that I was pregnant for a 3^rd time and after much thought (because I don’t believe anyone makes a decision like this on a whim), I decided to have an abortion. I made an appointment and had a friend drive me the two hours to Dr. Tiller’s Wichita clinic.

Security at the facility was very tight, even though there were very few protestors outside. Over the years those protestors have become an amalgam in my memory of older white people, holding signs saying things like “Abortion is Murder” and “Don’t kill your baby. Give her to us”. Who knows anymore if that’s really what they said, but you get the gist.

The interior of the clinic was comfortable and professional. The only thing that really set this doctor’s office apart from my regular GP’s office, were the letters on the wall. To this day I remember reading the letters of thanks from people of all walks of life. People who had flown in from other states, parents who had brought their daughters in hopes of redemption, young women like me who had already started a family, desperate women who were not ready or had no intention of ever doing so, these letters ran the full gamut of possible circumstances that would compel one to seek out the services provided within those walls.

My impressions of Dr. Tiller to this day are of a professional man who was there to do his job. There were no Lifetime movie moments, no crying, gnashing of teeth or heart-to-hearts happening. We discussed the procedure itself, I was asked if I was sure this was the right choice for me and then he did his job. A few hours later, I went home and got on with my life.

What I failed to realize at the time was the risk Dr. Tiller was taking for me and for every other woman who sought out his services. I was given the dark blanket of anonymity which allowed me to remain righteous in the eyes of my Kansas neighbors while Dr. Tiller was being targeted by over-bloated hypocritical douchebags like Bill O’Reilly on a national stage. Three years before I would ever meet him, Dr. Tiller had been shot 5 times by an unhinged anti-choice activist. Prior to that, his clinic had been firebombed. After each incident, he recovered and rebuilt.

Now (and hindsight can sometimes be a real bitch) I think about what it must have taken for him to get up every day and be in the center of that fight, and I wish more than anything I could go back in time and thank him for bearing that burden on behalf of all his patients.

But I never wrote a thank you letter. I wish I had. At the time I assumed that the rights I exercised that day and the clinic that I chose for that process would always be there. Now, all over this great country, we are seeing hoards of religious and political leaders whittling away at a woman’s right to privacy and choice under the guise of moral superiority. Whether it comes in the form of mandatory vaginal ultrasounds or mandatory pre-abortion “counseling” the American Taliban movement is pushing further and further to marginalize my right to have control over my uterus.  So now, it’s up to me to fight, like so many women before me have—not only for my daughter and all the daughters who may someday have to make a choice, but for Dr. Tiller as well, who fought for all of us until the day he was savagely murdered. 

Better late than never:

Dear Dr. Tiller,

Thank you for your compassionate and professional help. You will never know this, but while I was in the recovery room after my procedure, the woman in the bed next to me struck up a conversation with me about her experience. She was having a late term termination and just wanted to talk about it. That’s all. She wanted an ear and I had no idea how to support what she was experiencing. I hope that whatever I said to her helped. I hope wherever she is she’s ok. She appreciated you, and so did I. I hope that your family knows how brave you were. I tell my children about heroes like you and use your example of true courage to inspire them to be better people. Forgive the rambling letter, and forgive those people who would do you harm. We will rise up to carry the burden for the next generation in your absence.

I AM ONE

I AM ONE:

Nearly 20 years ago, I was impregnated by a physician co-worker who drugged and raped me. Since I have Asherman’s Syndrome, my OB/GYN told me my body would spontaneous terminate within a few weeks, but as the single spokesperson for one of the Midwest’s largest Catholic hospitals-and already reeling from my attack-I needed to schedule a planned termination.  That was my choice and I have never regretted making that decision.

I am one of 25,000 women every year that Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO) slammed when he said “legitimate rape” rarely caused pregnancy.  I’m one of those who failed to “get cleaned out” with a rape kit as Jodie Laubenberg (R-State Rep.) claimed.  And unlike Ohio Treasurer Josh Mandel and former Indiana Treasurer & Senate candidate Richard Mourdock boasted, I never believed my pregnancy from rape was a “Gift from God”.  As a woman with strong faith, I have never doubted I was blessed to have had the legal choice.

The people closest to me –from my mother to my former boss (a Nun)- have always known my history and I never saw much need in sharing it with others, until so many politicians decided  I was one of the millions of women in our nation that should be labeled “Public Enemy #1”. The relentless attack on rape survivors and the attempts to steal a woman’s decision making process over her own body, mobilized me to act and to find the voice I didn’t have 20 years ago.

Today, I am a State Director with UniteWomen.org  - a non-profit made up of about 80,000 volunteers, dedicated to equality and to safe guarding women's civil rights.  I’m intensely proud of our UnitedAgainstRape Campaign which has garnished national acclaim.  We also worked with women's groups from all walks of life for rallies - including one I participated in at the Ohio Statehouse the day our legislature voted for a hideous budget that included provisions taking away our right to choose while also forcing physicians to lie to patients.

Right now, through August 9th, we're encouraging Ohio women to ask OH Gov. John Kasich and Lt Gov. Mary Taylor (and others nationwide to contact their own Governors) for permission before making any decision- any decision at all no matter how trivial.  We have to believe these 'leaders' think they control us anyway, why not let them know we "Need Your Permission" (#NYPOH or #NeedYourPermission).  We're also creating educational materials, including those to let the younger generation know why the Wire Hanger is being used to symbolize anti-choice.  

My grandmother and mother fought for Women's Rights and now, unbelievably, it's my turn to continue this battle.  Let's work together to make sure the next generation doesn't have to beg for the rights they were given by our Supreme Court so many decades ago.  We have to get involved – use our collective voice. This isn’t a partisan battle – this is a basic human rights issue. 47,000 women die each year from complications from illegal abortions – that’s more than all of our Wars on Terror combined.  #waronwomen  will end –with your help and your vote.

Hell Hath No Fury Like A Wisconsin Woman Scorned:
There’s no sweeter place to live than Wisconsin. We have friendly people, hard working families and pristine outdoors. At least we did. Not so much anymore. When your shogun ruler is Scott Walker, skies turn green, the air smells of sulfur and it’s always overcast.

When you thought of Wisconsin 10 years ago, most people would have envisioned a progressive paradise. A place full of left-wing politics. Where we produced genuine politicians who you could count on to stand up for women, education and the working class. We had fully funded schools and social programs. You could get health care and feed your family. You could afford college. But now, our only saving grace is Tammy Baldwin and our Democratic representatives in congress. But in the past 3 years, the Tea party and the Koch brothers have moved in. Everywhere you look (with the obvious exception of Waukesha and Ozaukee counties) you could say to yourself in earnest, “I’m not in Wisconsin anymore.” In that 3 year span, we've seen the rise of Scott Walker, a Republican Godzilla. A terrifying creature who has risen from the cold, black abyss of the Tea Party. Those with political sanity countered with a massive recall that was ultimately defeated with corporate cash. Our economy, our schools, our working class families have all suffered considerably. With our latest state budget, that Walker signed with an eagerness comparable to a rat finding a hunk of cheese, he stole money from hard working families to pay for corporate welfare and voucher schools. And if that wasn't bad enough, this right-wing take over has been especially bad for women. But we’ve taken notice. And now we’re pissed. Apparently Republicans aren’t aware of the phrase, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”

For reasons we still have yet to dissect and understand, the Republican party has an obsession with the female reproductive process. Not an obsession on a biological scale, or a scientific scale, but on a fascist scale.  Not only do they believe that a woman cannot make her own decisions, because the GOP feeds off of medieval patriarchy, but they feel that medical decisions are best left to men. And the GOP here in Wisconsin seems to be even more ultra-dumb than the rest. One of our more notorious state senators, Mr. Glenn Grothman, wanted to go so far as to make a law indicating single parenthood a form a child abuse. I’ll let that sink in. He wants to force women to have children, then turn around and make raising them in a single parent household akin to abuse. Honestly, there is really nothing more terrifying than allowing people like Grothman and Scott Walker to decide on your vaginal health and your future.

When the Koch brothers paid for Walker’s win to Madison, there was never a true focus on job creation or expanding education. We all knew that was BS. Instead, men descended on Madison and we now have a law that forces a woman to be vaginally probed before obtaining a safe, legal medical procedure, Texas style. During the debate of the bill and after it was signed into law, many doctors and medical professionals in the state expressed their concern of forcing a women into additional, unnecessary and downright cruel procedures. And to make the entire situation worse, Scott Walker signed the law in what was essentially secret. He didn’t even have the nards to own up to his own bullshit. He took the cowards way out. Only a Republican would celebrate the 4th of July holiday by signing away women’s reproductive freedom.

Because of this bill, Wisconsin will see the closings of most Planned Parenthoods. Only two clinics will be left to perform abortion services, Milwaukee and Appleton. Affiliated Health will now be gone. Women in the north and western parts of the state will have to travel incredibly long distances to obtain medical services. But the cruel irony of the entire situation is that the state GOP wants to cut every single service that parents rely on to feed and obtain medical care for their kids. It’s certainly true that the only time a Republican cares about a child is when they can use it against a woman. How much did Walker give in tax cuts to corporations in Wisconsin? Billions. How much is he actively gutting from state services? Billions. Coincidence? Absolutely not. There is a silver lining to this story in the form of a judge’s injunction on the provision of the bill that makes it a crime for a doctor who does not have hospital admitting privileges to perform abortions. Planned Parenthood stood ready to challenge the law in court. Unfortunately, I think that part of the law will be upheld.

I suppose the obvious moral of the story is to never vote for a Republican. They should be forewarned that our grandmothers and great-grandmothers fought the first wave of the War on Women, and women today, well we’ll be right there on the front lines to finish it. We won’t let them get away with taking back our rights centuries. Wisconsin women will continue to fight the fight. Fists up, women. The GOP started this and we will finish it. Women will be victorious.